Posts

Showing posts from 2012

Sometimes I wonder why

Sometimes I wonder why What has a hold on me here? And why can't it let me pass it by? It's not like there is something here I have long since been an outsider With no inkling as to why I don't know why I'm here anymore So, sometimes I wonder why? There is nothing here for me Not a single tie Nothing here to be Just to sit here and die Sometimes I wonder why? That's not what I want This isn't where I want to die To die here, I can't There is too much pain for me here I can't take it much longer I don't want the pain that is given to me here I don't want it any longer. Sometimes I wonder why What keeps me? There is so much hurt, really I can't be me This is where I go To sleep, to eat I don't want to be here, though. I want to leave, to be the one who beats. I don't want to hurt anymore I don't want to be beaten down I want so much more Than to be looking down I want to be on top I want to w

The Wanted - Heart Vacancy

Image
dance a wild dance in the wind a slow dance in the moonlight a dance for the sun dancing just to dance dancing to be free on hard ground on soft carpet outdoors indoors with music with music of the soul alone with friends with the one you love dance for yourself dance to be free dance with no inhibitions dance for the love in your heart
a light shines in the dark. it's a beacon, a warning. it's a hope and a dream. it's a wishing star. it lends it's gleam to give us hope that our hears desires will be recognized, that they will come true. a gleam, a flash. it leads to the place where dreams come true. this is the place where the heart's desires come true. this is the true paradise of the earth. don't ask me. i know not where it is. but i shall give you the advice i have been given; follow you heart, because your heart will lead you to the light. you just have to folow it's lead. follow it. when i've found my paradise, don't ask me to leave. everything at that point would be complete for me. when i've found my paradise, don't look for me. i'll be in parts of this earth that will be hard for me to leave.

scary story (beginning)

The dark was falling faster than I had thought. I thought that I'd be okay. But it was dark. I couldn't be out. I could barely see. If I wanted to sleep, I'd need to get myself inside, and soon. Sooner than that. The house came out of nowhere, it seemed, and maybe it did. I couldn't know. It was foggy out, dark... I couldn't see more than five feet in front of my face. One moment it wasn't there, and the next, it was looming in front of me. I scrambled up the steps, almost tripping as I went - the stairs were steep -  up to the porch. The door was open, and I didn't think anything of it. After all, the house came out of nowhere. So, why would the door be closed to those who'd need it? I walked down the hall, adjusting my bag on my shoulders, pulling my jacket tighter around me. There was a slight chill in the air. Had I closed the door behind me? I couldn't be sure... The hallway split. I went right. Down the hall, I found a kitchen, a bathro

today's sunset!!!

the sun is at a slant, clouds just below it. there is an orange glow on the horizon as the sun sinks behind the clouds, hundreds of shafts of light, yellow and orange, peak from behind the clouds. the ball shines from a gap, the shaft of light just for me. i lift my face to it, watching the strong, powerful waves race toward the shore, crashing on each other and the beach. the closer to the horizon, the deeper the orange color. clouds are most thick 'round the sun, more flanking them, thinning out to the south and north - to the left and right, respectively. the sun has disappeared behind the clouds now, but shafts of rays shine through, dying the clouds golden yellow, the farthest reaching ones the brightest yellow and golden. just south, the sun colors the sky a pink-orange color. as i watch the sky change colors, a cool breeze makes me shiver. the waves continue to crash toward the shore. the sand shifts under me as i move, taking in the scene. the golden rays are gone n
to those who love what they do, i say cheers for those who are happy, let's toast to a merry life and those who never grow up, let life be a long adventure to those who die young, you're never forgetten; you're always remembered; your lives were short, but happy and for those who work for what they want, your lives are well spent to those who grow up, but never get old... live to your heart's desire those who fulfill their heart's desires, what a wonderful life but lives, to those young and old, rich and poor, over-worked and those who've never had to work a day in their life, are blank canvases that we are meant to draw a story on, the story of our lives; use that blank canvas well; hopefully, the drawing or painting that you've created by the end of your life is colorful and will be remembered for years...
They were screaming at each other, like every other night. Tonight was the same sort of argument, except they were just coming in from a party, late at night. She was in a black cocktail dress, he was wearing name brand, top of the line clothes. It should have been a great night, but as usual, something had set set one of them off... She was visibly upset, her legs were shaking in her heels as she walked into the house. He didn't seem to care that his girl was upset. He was furious that his night ended when and how it did. The front door slammed behind him, making the windows shake in their panes. She threw him a n angry, yet sad, look. He shot her down with a snarl. She started crying as she ran to the bedroom, her shoes flying behind her. He couldn't care less. He was planning on leaving the house tonight, anyhow. One of the girls he occassionally slept with would let him spend the night with her. But... he heard something from the bedroom. He went back to investigate. H
pink, orange and yellow streak across the sky as the sun sets. a strong wind sweeps across the canyon, swoops up the ridge i'm on. i open my arms in a cross and let the wind hold me up, right where i am, showered in a ray of liquid gold. i take a deep breath, breathing in a stream of cool, fresh air. i feel like i am on top of the world, like nothing can catch me here. like nothing else exists. i feel like i am the only person here. only existing to keep the balance of the world equal. the feeling is exhilerating.
water moves forward, roaring as it goes. it keeps on its path, coursing ceaselessly to the chute. a leaf floats down, drifting onto the river. it rides on the water, going along. the water urges forward, crashing and rolling. then, the water rolls over the edge, falling. it free falls several hundred feet and rumbles down. it crashes to meet the pool and the rest of the water of the river at the bottom, cauing a white mist. the leaf blows over the fall, swishing and riding the air currents down to the river, drifting down the wall of water. it is hidden by the mist as it falls, then beaten under water when it lands, torn to shreds. the water flows and ebbs, flowing forward, never stopping, never standing still, never flowing backwards. always moving, never looking back. drifting, flowing, ebbing, drifting.....
The sun rises over the horizon, showing a world different than the one at night. Trees cast long shadows across the ground, standing majestic. Hills roll into the light fog. Birds chirp their morning songs, waking up the sleeping world. A cool, gentle breeze floats through, cool and calm. The dog barks and wags her tail, hoping to go outside to chase the morning creatures. A new day starts, same as the ones before, but different with each sunrise.
I cannot say what I will be, or what will become of me. I cannot even begin to imagine what will happen in my life. What I can say with some confidence is that nothing in life is easy. The journey our life takes us has is ups and downs. With this said and all philosophies aside, what makes us think that how one person does something is the right way? How is the way one person leading his or her life the be all, end all life to live? Who says control, or lack thereof, is right? How is having a finger in every aspect of every person's life the best way to make everyone happy? How does live and let live sound? Be and Let Be. We do things for people we love because we love them. But there are times when we have to learn to let go - times when we allow our loved ones to live the life they are supposed to without our interference. It's hard, but with some time and patience, we can learn to finally be able to live with what we have. Even if it does include or not include every pers

Nickelback- When We Stand Together

Image
One more depending on a prayer And we all look away People pretending everywhere It's just another day There's bullets flying through the air And they still carry on We watch it happen over there And then just turn it off Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah We must stand together Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah There's no giving in Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah Hand in hand forever Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah That's when we all win Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah That's, that's, that's when we all win That's, that's, that's when we all win They tell us everything's alright And we just go along How can we fall asleep at night When something's clearly wrong When we could feed a starving world With what we throw away But all we serve are empty words That always taste the same Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah We must stand together Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah There's no giving in Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah Hand in hand forever Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah That's whe
my heart bursts into flames, red hot and angry, growing fiercer and stronger until it's like the final throws of a dying star - angry fire, turning on itself just before its demise. then, before i know it, the collapse is here, leaving behind a cold darkness. an enternal moment passes when i feel it... a gentle pull where my heart should be, where it was. it pulls, it tugs until i realize what's happening. like a black hole sucking everything into it, the hole yanks every last bit of happiness and every last shard of good from me, leaving me cold and compassionless. everything that made me care, everything that made me happy is gone through the black hole where my heart disappeared into. the cold, the anger, the hurting, the uncaring part of me is what's left.
waves wash over me, cold and uncaring. they beat me back, yank me every which way. who knows which way is up? i don't know why i try to save myself anymore. it's too cold to care, and there isn't anything left for me here. not a single thing left. it was over before it bagan, and i hadn't realized that until now. but with this being where i am left to die there isn't much more to realize... except to realize that this could be my very last thought....

the game

an almost silent bounce of a tennis ball as it bounces once, twice... it flies up high, a good two feet or more, with not even a whistle of air as it passes through it before - SMACK! it hits a racket, whipping it over the net and bounces in the square catty-corner from the server. it spikes up, flying. a racket swings, connecting with the neon yellow meteor, shooting it back to the other side of the court, buried deep in the far corner; the first player reaches, runs, stretches, but with the first bounce, the ball is already out, bouncing again within seconds, before he could have gotten to the ball. a scream of exhaultation, a groan of frustration float over the court, game over. the final points were played, the players now spent.