my writing corner

up and down, round and round. you didn't understand. was it too hard to comprehend? i didn't want to get hurt by you. i told you this time and again, yes. i thought i loved you, but it was too good to be true. you let me fall after i thought i had it all. but i fell so hard and you never cared. i had to end the ups and downs, the round and rounds. i didn't think i mattered, i was left battered. but you'd never understand what i had to withstand... i just want to say thank you. i hope i can find someone very different than you.

one more hit ... my foundation is cracked. i tried so hard to get at least that built strong, but with each crushing blow, it comes weaker, until it finally cracks. i thought i had come so far, but finally i came to realize that maybe i am not strong enough yet to finally build up my walls. one more crack ... my foundation is threatening to collapse. quickly i am struggling to hold on, to keep it from cracking again, from falling, only knowing that my strenght is vanishing as fast as my will to keep from everything tumbling over me. one more breath ... i give one last effort to hold out. my will is slipping, my strength is nearly gone. i no longer have any need to try anymore, even though i know if i give up, this beginnings of a wall, this weak facade will finally crumble, and i will be left in a lesser state ... one last moment ... and it's over. i lost. my foundation crumbles. i wasnt strong enough. and now, all that i have worked for is gone. i am left alone in this lesser, wea...

shadows stretch across the page.... spidery writing covers the paper. a candle flickers. the table stretches into the dark. i try to finish reading the paper, but sleep threatens to overtake me. i set it aside and pick up the candle. the wax drips, falls into the holder. i walk slowly into my room, finding that the door is already closed. i open it gently and find him already in bed. i sigh, and put the candle down on the nightstand. i lay down in bed and blow out the candle. an arm reaches for me. i curl up next to my love and settle down for a calm night. i start to fall alseep in his arms as he mumbles 'i love you' in my ear.

another day passes... another day closer... we want it to speed up, but we dont want it to end. we are happy to finally get out but sad to leave some fond memories. we are ready, willing, to make new ones, but hesitate to let the old ones go. we see the end of the road, but are we ready to meet it? we hold out for the end, but are we willing to work more than we need to? are we really ready to get to the end of the line? will there be hesitation at the last moment? is there any way we can hurry up and finish, but make it last? how are we to really be ready? who knows what's on the other side?

what happened to the yesterdays we used to have? what happened to the days we used to have when we were young and could do next to nothing, but still get by? to the long sommers when we would lazily idle, the easy yesterdays? and to the times when being friends was just about being friends? those das are the yesterdays we wish we could still have but can't. those yesterdays are those from the past, the ones we cherish and keep, knowing that they were the easiest yesterdays we've ever had.

one moment in time... it can mean nothing, it can mean everything. it could be the end of the begining, or the begining of the end. but for me, it's the realization that it's the beginning of the end... the end of four long, yet short years, of years that helped me learn about myself, and learn to forget. I am holding on to this moment, but I know that it could, will, tumble away, and leave me reaching for the next moment in time... for now, i am grasping onto this moment until i have to reach for the next, then realizing that i can't live on this moment alone.

My black wings beat against the night air, the cool wind rushing around me. Doomed in this state as the dark angel, I am to roam this Earth, carrying those spirits who are condemned and give them to Satan. With each beat of my wings, a new spirit is to be taken up in my arms to be handed away to live in agony. I am travelling by night, only by night, never to see the light of day again.