one more hit ... my foundation is cracked. i tried so hard to get at least that built strong, but with each crushing blow, it comes weaker, until it finally cracks. i thought i had come so far, but finally i came to realize that maybe i am not strong enough yet to finally build up my walls.

one more crack ... my foundation is threatening to collapse. quickly i am struggling to hold on, to keep it from cracking again, from falling, only knowing that my strenght is vanishing as fast as my will to keep from everything tumbling over me.

one more breath ... i give one last effort to hold out. my will is slipping, my strength is nearly gone. i no longer have any need to try anymore, even though i know if i give up, this beginnings of a wall, this weak facade will finally crumble, and i will be left in a lesser state ...

one last moment ... and it's over. i lost. my foundation crumbles. i wasnt strong enough. and now, all that i have worked for is gone. i am left alone in this lesser, weak state that i have worked so hard to get away from, only to come back to it. i feel so hopeless, so alone ... almost like i am falling into a deep, black pit, and i cant see the end nor the beginning.

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