i live in constant fear.
i whisper words you can't hear;
i know what will happen if you do.
i dont know what else to do
but to take the crushing words,
the honed, sharpened and edged word,
those meant to hurt me.
i don't know what to be
when you want me to present
myself when you yourself resent
the way i act, the way i talk
the way i do, the way i walk.
if you resent me so,
what am i supposed to do?
love you with compassion
or hate you with passion?
how am i supposed to see
what i am supposed to be?
all that is in my head
is what you have fed
me for so long.
i always feel like i am doing wrong.
i can't see
what i am supposed to be.
my outlook on my life is tainted
by the way i feel hated.
is this how life is supposed to be?
afraid to truly be me?
afraid to make one wrong move,
always trying to prove
I deserve your love,
rather than thinking you are so far above?
but i guess i'll never know
anything but the hate you show.

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