my writing corner

clouds cover the sky, grey and cold. the sun struggles to shine through, a bright disk behind the blanket of grey over it. the air is cold. i pull my scarf closer to my neck, pull my hat down and my hood over my head. i zip my coat up to the collar and flip it up to cover my face. the wind stirs around me, making me shiver. my gloves keep my fingers warm. i walk faster to get inside. it seems like it takes me forever to get to where i am going. the wind picks up again, fingers of cold wisping across my face and slithering down into my collar. i shiver again. i hold my collar to my neck, pull my scarf over my face. i feel my face turning red. the cold doesn't agree with me, and i don't agree with it. it's still a wonder that i still live somewhere cold.

coolness surrounds me as i wade deeper into the glassy water. the ocean is calm, for once. waist-deep, i stop, rest my hands on top of the smooth surface. the sun beats down on my shoulders, keeping me warm. the sand is smooth under my feet. a gentle breeze rolls off the ocean, rippling the surface of the water, ever so gently. the smell of brine and salt fill my nose. the sky is baby blue, the glassy surface of the ocean a perfect imitation of it. a few puffy, white clouds roll and stretch across the sky and its perfect reflection in the water below. in this moment, there is calm and peace. happiness warms my body. another breeze breathes across the ocean, skittering across my shoulders, tickling my nose and cheeks, playing with loose strands of my hair. this is perfection.

tick tock goes the clock as i wait by the gate for someone for that one he is late for a date i thought he knew but i have no clue what to think something clinks in the kitchen he arrives then walks up the walkway to the gateway i let him in he puts his chin on my head there is not much to be said my heart beats fast though mad, i know this will last i hope he agrees i hope he sees we will get through he says "it's always me and you."

the moon shines, just a sliver in the blanket of indigo surrounding it. stars blink, looking like holes that let light through the blanket 'round the moon. the night air is warm as it whips through the car. the moon seems to follow me (or i might be following the moon) as i drive west, going through time zone after time zone. the engine hums gently under the music i have on that is just loud enough to hear. the freeway is relatively empty, allowing me to drive a few mph over the speed limit. probably not gas efficient with the windows open, but ... i try not to worry. i don't need the gas yet. i race across the state and hit the border in just a few short hours, the freeway free of the traffic it holds during the day. just truckers and a few other brave souls who drive at night. the freeway bends, cuts through long stretches of trees like a snake in the underbrush. i keep on speeding across the next state... state boundaries and where i am at, right now, hold no meaning for me...

the waves are pulling me down, pulling me farther away from shore. my head is being pulled under, but i struggle. my hands break the surface and i pull myself out, only to be pushed back down by another wave. it pushes me down... the undercurrent pushes me any and every way it pleases. i don't know which way is up or down. my feet feel something sandy, but sturdy. i make one last attempt to save myself... i push against the sand, breaking the surface a mere moment later. my head is over the surface... i find comfort there until a wave gives one final push, slamming the last bit of strength i had left...

Dear Mr. Winter; I know we aren't friends, let alone buds; we are the worst of enemies and I despise you, and I know you feel the same about me. I know we do not see eye to eye. We are not even on common ground. I understand that. I prefer your opposite, Mrs Summer, and I just want to know if you can be less cold this year, and maybe leave sooner. Could you possibly leave by April? Maybe even March? Please? For those of us who prefer to go barefoot and spend our time outdoors, at swimming pools. Sincerely, Charlotte

how can i tell you how i feel? how do i know you feel the same? my heart is about to explode, to fly away the same way a bird would fly away into the sky. you are someone i feel like i can act like me in front of, not caring what side i show. you just treat it like me. the way you act around me makes me feel like i am everything i could be.

save me from myself even when i'm lonely and hollow i keep going and keep moving despite it all being against me i pick myself up and keep going until there's no up left only you can save me from this vicious circle because nothing else makes sense nothing but your face lonely and hollow i keep going and keep moving despite you being against me i push away and make it through another day

A forest... Trees as far as the eye can see. Green, brown. Moss on rocks and trunks of trees. Green leaves making a canopy over my head. The trunks are brown under the patchy moss. The ground is covered by leaves fallen in years past, brown - a rich, golden brown. A tree trunk lays on the forest floor off to the right. A cool breeze floats past me, bringing the smells of the forest around me - musk, mossy, a little bit of rain. I can hear the river gushing close by, rolling over rocks, crashing around a bend; I'm sure it is swollen from the onslaught it recieved from the rain. The emerald canopy over my head allows a few rays of sun down to the ground; I am standing in a shaft of light. Birds chirp, unseen in the trees around me. A woodpecker taps away- peck peck peck - up high, above my head. A frog croaks close by, its croak sounding from somewhere I can't distinguish it from. Leaves rustle in a gentle breeze as it tickles my face. This forest is one I don't know, yet f...

i am wearing a plain white tee-shirt and black jeans. the carnival lights flash and blink, brilliant colors showing as they go. i slowly walk around, taking in the smells and sounds around me. little kids scream and laugh as they lead their hassled parents around. pre-teens, middle-schoolers, act too cool for their own good. teenage guys walk around with their girlfriends, too cool and cocky. the girlfriends either wrap themselves around their boys or are too cool to be seen as clingly. all the singletons settle into groups, laughing and talking to each other. i  am here by myself, allowing myself to be on the outside for once. i don't mind. at least, this way, i don not have to be doing this or that, go on this ride or that. i hear random shouts and i pick my name from them. i turn and see someone in red coming toward me. i smile. a carnie, whom i had befriended the last time the carnival was here, hussles to me. "hey," he says. "i haven't seen you in awhile....

people were screaming, as they have when he got on his horse moments earlier, as they will when he leaves. he rode through town. it was nightfall. he knew, that before he left town, more people would find the bodies there, broken and lifeless, and even more chaos would ensue. but he wouldn't worry abotu theat. he would be out of the town before anyone could ask who had done this, before anyone could place him at the scene, at the place this had happened. he was outside the town now. as he had predicted, more people were screaming. smirking, he rode faster into the night, moving to the next town. dark as night, his black cape whipping behind him, he rode with the protection of the night. his horse was as dark as his cape, the mane darker, if that were possible. they flew fast and hard down the trail to the next town. the town came into view as the first of the sun's rays peeked over the horizon. quickly he rode his steed into town. tithering the horse to a stake near a turoug...

i am beyond sadness no more happiness in my heart in my heart there is more sorrow now and on the 'morrow my heart is burdened burdened and hardened against any love but peace of a dove can save me oh, dove, save me from this sorrow for many more 'morrows but who knows what i know about sadness with no happiness i am one who no one wants to be with nobody wants to be with on on accord of this sorrow well, now you know dove of peace dove of love give me peace and much more love

waves crash. cool air off the ocean makes me shiver, but brings the comforting smell of sea salt and brine. the sun shines, trying to defy the cool weather. it's the coolest it's been in all the times i have been here. but then again, i've never been here in the fall. another cool breeze washes up from the ocean, making me draw my blanket closer. my feet are bare in the cold sand. i bury them deep into the warmer sand. the sun is going behind me slowly, the rays on my shoulders. not many people are here. students are in school or at home, doing homework, and parents and other adults are working. i have this stretch of beach to myself - my own personal stretch. usually this is waht i am asking for. right now, i am not so sure if it's what i want. the breeze makes itself present again. despite my blanket, i am shivering again. i haul myself off the sand, unbury my feet and grab my shoes before making my way down the beach. this aimless wandering helps me warm up again. n...

the darkness clouds over me it's so dark, i can't see when i move forward, i stumble there are things in the dark that mumble i try to move, but i fall to cry i don't know what's going on... i want to die i lay there in waiting but it seens these mumblers aren't hunting they keep mumbling, leave me here they are plainning something, i can plainly hear but what, i know not i'm here, left to rot i whisper to one but in answering, not one would say something they won't say anything not to me, anyway but they are going away i can hear by the movement of their mumbling, the movement of their feet nowhere will the meet me to help my fallen self i am here by myself

i'm free-falling, tumbling through a well of darkness. there is no end to this, is there? the wind - well, still air, but it feels like wind because i am moving down - whips my hair around my face, pulls my clotes taught against my skin. it's cold and i am shivering. my eyes are watering... not from crying, but from the cold wind that is pricking my eyes. i keep tumbling downwards, down, down, down. i feel like i should have hit something by now, but i haven't. i look up and down - there is no light to tell me how far i have come or how far i have left to fall. left and right, but once again... there is no light. the darkness is deafening and blinding. i cannot see or hear. it comes as no surprise, then, that i am hearing voices and seeing things. my eyes and ears play tricks on me. i don't know if i am answering the voices or not. i cannot feel, so i don't know if my lips are moving. the voices are too loud that i cannot hear my own voice. i am senseless. i cann...

she moves gracefully through the dancing bodies, never looking over her shoulder. she feels his eyes on her back. she knows he knows she's here. just his being here makes her slightly umcomfortable, and makes her hands shake, the only clue that she's stressed. the bathroom... opening the door, she slides in. she no longer feels his eyes, his seemingly all-knowing, dark eyes, on her back. she allows herself to breath and makes her hands stop shaking. looking at herself in the mirror, she doesn't see anger or fear. she sees a certain confidence, one that exudes power, self-assurance, and ease. truly, she has nothing to fear. relaxed and confident now, she walks back out the the club. he is looking at her again. she knows it. he sees her calm confidence, her self-assured aura. she doesn't need him anymore. he sees that, too. he feels undone. he looks away, gets up to leave. men can be evil, but a woman's gift to be cruel hurts worse. she watches him leave. in that ...

how you knew i'd be okay is beyond me. you knew, and you told me. i didn't believe you. but now that it's all said and done, i know now that you were right all along. i'm moving on. i've learned my lesson and i'm pushing forward. i have my life to live. i'm not stopping for you to change your mind. i am my ouwn person. i don't need someone to keep me going. i have myself and that is plenty enough to keep me moving forward in this journey called life. i just want to thank you for all that you have taught me, for all you've given, and for all the memories i have. it was nice while it lasted, but what i'm doing now is awesome.

rain falls cool drops hit my skin drips off my face like unsalted tears rain falls as it tries to wash away all the hurt and pain that causes all our tears rain falls it marks the time passing quiet little taps on the window in time with my silent tears

a heartbeat keeps the rhythm of a wingbeat the end almost feels like it's around the bend but once chance to stay alive comes at a precarious time maybe a time too many for me a time too many to be still alive to be evading death to be alive a heartbeat keeps the rhythm of a wingbeat until the last heartbeat falls silent after the last wingbeat

i am alone. in this dark meadow, i finally grasp the fact that nobody will save me. i only have myself. the danger still unclear, i stand in the middle of the meadow, with the silver moonlight falling down on me. i finally close my eyes and lift my face towards the moon, my arms no up at shoulder level, my full wingspan open. i feel nothing as i fall, the danger finally catching up to me... and i willingly let it take over.

wings beat to the rhythm of a heartbeat a heart on concrete tears leave her face with tearstreaks watiting on a starstreak a wish on one for happiness after heartbreak loneliness in place of happiness in hopes of less of the sorrow to rather borrow happiness rather than let the sadness swallow everything to be hoping to one day have something for now the days look bleak she allows herself to feel weak week after week

a sea of green grass waves when a breeze comes through. the breeze feels warm against my skin, smells fresh. the sky is a clear blue, the sun lemon yellow. i let myself lay down in the knee high grass. a lazy white cloud floats along high in the sky. the grass waves again around me, roughly soft against my skin. just one wish - to have someone with me, a man to share this moment with.

waves crash against the beach. i run out on the beach and look back at you as i laugh, enjoying myself. i turn back around and slow down to a walk, and you come up behind me, arms around my waist. we laugh again, soft sand shifting beneath our feet, flying around our ankles. my hair falls over my shoulders, your arms are still around me. we finally sit down in the sand, you around me... as the memory fades, i realize that you are gone. your time, love, has come. and, although i have all these fine memories of us, i am alone.

um, i kind of stopped the 30 day song challenge. :/ but i guess i'll restart it soon. from day one.

dark wings... they beat quietly. i fly... i move silently. i keep to the night; you never see me in the light. those souls condemned i reap; those souls condemned i keep. hell hath fury; let that be me. the dark air of night, never felt in bright light, keeps me high - until i let myself fall from the sky for those souls to take, for those souls that are mine to take hell hath fury; let that be me.

don't ask me how, but it does remind me of ... this place.

whatever... lol. :)

every time i hear this song, i wanna cry

i love this song. it is kinda sad.

this is actually kinda sad. :/

I actually have a couple of songs for this one....

PARTY! lol. :)

i know some people might like this song, but every time i hear this on the radio, i need to change the station.

I realize that this song is kinda old, but it's still way up there. :)

Doing a 30 Song Challenge. Choose a different song every day based on the 30 day challenge thing... :/ well, after this post, I'm gonna start it. :)

i am alone. in this dark meadwow, i finally grasp the fact that nobody will save me. i only have myself. the danger still unclear, i stand in the middle of the meadow, with the silver moonlight falling down on me. i finally close my eyes and lift my face towards the moon, my arms now up at shoulder level, my full wingspan open. i feel nothing as i fall, the danger finally catching up to me... and i willingly let it take over.

what i remember is something completely different than how i lived throught it. the years between then and now and what i have done have changed how i see it. maybe because i am a different person now is changing how i feel about it. but i want to know whether you think about me like i think of you. because the one thing that has not changed is that one fact... that i think about you every now and again...

Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I wish I were back home with you. Do you want to know what I remember most from this summer? How amazingly and intensily happy you were. Your friends seem to be those who make you happy. And maybe I wasn't completely aware, but it was almost like... you were having fun! Even though I don't finish until Christmas next year, you seemlike you can handle it now. Or maybe it's because I get out at Christmas. But anyways, you are incredibly beautiful and strong. Did you know that? That is what amazes me every time I see you. It is what gives me hope about getting through this. Sweetheart, I have a surprise for you when I come home on my next leave. I can't tell you what it is. But I think that you will love it. No, I know it. But I have to go. I will write when I have another moment. I love you with all my heart.

i can't help but feel like i am missing something... like maybe i forgot to lock my front door before i left or forgot to close the window in the back room. but i can't be sure until i get back. maybe i am putting thoughts in my own head. but i'm not sure. i drive home down the long road in the night, hoping that maybe everything is safe in my little house. pulling up in the driveway, i see everything untouched, nothing out of the ordinary. as i walk to the front door, i hope that i did remember to lock it. i slide the key into the lock and turn it... the thunk of the lock tells me that i did. i walk through the house, turning on lights as i go. in the back room, the large picture window had been left wide open, though the screen is locked. only i can't remember if i had locked it before i left. i hear a noise from somewhere in the house. i had not made it and i don't think that the house can make that kind of noise by itself. but i ignore it and turn on my tv, keep...

can i ever be the true me when a part of me is lost to someone else? why do i have to ask myself why i did not do what i wanted to? when can i finally tell him what i've held inside me for so long what i have wanted to say all along? i don't know what to do now but to deal with what i hold until i am old. but maybe i can let it out and figure out how to say what i need to say and finally let him know how i feel about him now.

time passes... whether you want it to or not. in the middle of the night, when you feel like you've been staring at the clock for three hours when it's only been one... when one minute you look at the clock, and you look back when you only think ten minutes pass, when it has been two hours... time marches on, for the strong and week, rich and poor, everyone alike. we soldier on, hoping that maybe, just for a moment, that moment could last forever.

Summer... I always feel like you are elusive. You are the best part of my life. But when I finally enjoy you, you seem to want to ruin it, so you leave. Summer... some of my very best memories happen when you are here. I have the most enjoyable time. so when you do leave, I have something to miss. Summer... I do meet some amazing people to share my memories with and to spend time with. They lift me up, make me happy, but when you leave, I miss them terribly. Summer, I do wish you would stay longer, but for some reason, you feel the need to end. Why do you feel the need to end the best time of my life?

in a field, a girl sits with her knees to her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs, with her hair over a shoulder. she releases her legs and kneels, picking up a handful of dirt. she stands. looking to the sky, she lets the dirt flow through her fingers. a peaceful expression falls to her face as her hair and clothes start to ripple. she grows taller. her hair changes to colorful tree branches, her torso and face becoming the trunk with marvelous colors. her arms reach toward the sky as two thick branches. her feet become rooted and colorful tree roots arch and twist over the earth before burying deep into the ground. in a field, a tree stands in its grandeur and beautiful color. soemthing about the tree gives the impression of it reaching to the sky... in an almost human way... almost... a sense... but in a rippling breeze, it is gone. just a tree, in it's natural grandeur.